Writing my own story. 我正在写自己的故事.

小小的部落格，说出心里想说的话。。。。 = ）


I am who I am... 我就是我. Randy, 22 le. Still searching myself. Loves....techie thingys, K-pop and etc.


yin min
wan ping
siti
shawny
wistera
xue ying
grace
samantha
mel
shamala
elaine
cindy
nurimah
azlan
viknesh
lesley
sandy
jasmine
dennis
jasper
jason
briana
charlene
aik kai
my fyp2 team blog
huiyan
dawnice
pei xin
joan
ted sis

I guess you guys are guessing why I put these 2 pics. Oh yah, actually these 2 pics I took it secretly. So how do you think about my photography skills? Appearance courtesy by Mei Yee and Bryan.

I am off for a hideaway tomorrow. So won't be blogging till Friday. Oh yah, actually it is joining Dennis's class, W26P for a chalet. While why I say a hideaway, I guess I am quite tired with school lifeso maybe this chalet can treat it as a hideaway. Relax and have fun!! : )

Oh yah, today I was late for student activity(Kaimyo PC student group). Today's discussion is about war. And also, sufferings of people. I realise, I am fortunate in a way that I am able to chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. Ever since I started chanting, it has indeed help me a lot in my life. Though problems are still there but I felt that things are getting much better many years back. While what I heard about natural disasters etc, sometimes it may due to our cause and end up the effect. There are simply lots of things unexplained and even me as a common mortal, I can't understand it at all.

Anyway, today looked at Lee Ming sleeping in the MRT, funny!! Haha!!..Move here, Move There....

Ok, I shall end my post here and will update you guys what happened in the hideaway in 5 days time!!


Today woke up around 10 plus. Did not wanted my friends from Kaimyo PC to come to my house for a visit but end up they come. So I came out with a plan, runaway. I went to JE library together with my lappy but forget to bring the adaptor. So end up with much calls and smses, I chose to go back home.

Later then I found out, I dissapointed a lot of people. Especially the 3 sisters, Lee Mei, Lee Lian and Lee Ming. Lee Ming was damn dissapointed, I also. When I look at her, I felt...

She later asked me, what did I told her about in the bus. I told her I a bit forget. Later, I said I am 18 soon, I need to have a change in my life.

Then, the 2 other 2 sisters gave me their guidance, sharing their experience.

Now I realise, everyone really wants me to change. The people who concerned me a lot, from Kaimyo PC. I really dissapointed with my doings.

Perhaps what I can do now, is to do resolute action and stand up. Change for the better.


Wake up around 10 plus, then come out with bad news. Wistera said she is unable to come for lunch. Sad, as I intend to have a surprise. But anyway since she is unable to make it for lunch, I guess I just say my surprise.

Oh yah, I intend to ask Wistera to film a video for Anni(Our ex-colleague). She is leaving for USA this Sun for further study so maybe the video is to just wish her good luck.

Emm...bit sad bah, now no more a reality.

Again suay, my 亲爱的王子 album songs all jumbled out in Windows Media Player. What the hell, WMP Ver 11. Kelong lei...

Today 2nd day of holiday, hope won't be that suay bah...


Yah, happy feelings have been coming in and out today and yesterday. I guess, is it because I missed my classmates, or envy other classmates, or envy Dennis's classmates or cannot find a job. Emm...Really dunno though.

Oh yeah, I took some pics yesterday and I guess I would share a few though.



That's my classmates whose birthday fall from Jan till Aug 23.

I can never expect Miaka is such an enthusiastic person when she starts playing CS.

It is CS time for Mr Shawny And Paul!!

Mr Shawny with his "Chocolate".

Mr Shawny and Miaka having a pose pic..emm..I think it looks nice though..haha!!

The centre of attention for yesterday, Dry Ice and Swensen Ice Cream. Still got Canadian 2 for 1 Pizzas but I did not take pics of it.

What happened to Ananth and Subha? Are they???

I took a pic with Dennis's classmates, W26P. Anyway we had our regular sports day..

Emm...I told myself I wanted to make a Thank You list. But I guess let me tell what happened yesterday?

Yesterday, late for lesson. Cognitive ended our semester. Whole class was slacking. Haha!! After that went to join W26P for sports day till very late. The funniest part should be the dog and bone game. Everyone rushed for the bottle when we come out with all funny announcement.

Emm...I guess let me thank you the people whom helped me a lot during the 1st semester in RP.

Yin Min : I always gave her problem but she is always willing to forgive me. Really sorry for all troubles created and thank you for forgiving me again and again.

Joanna : She is the one who encourage me to go say sorry to Yin Min. Thanks for your encouragement and I did it!!

Jia Wen : My "bro". Hey, you are always willing to be my listening ear. Whenever I met obstacles, you are always the one who gave me the push to never give hope!! Really very fortunate to know you lei!! Gonna miss your laughter liaox..Cheerful Tomato!!

Other W26Q guys like Shawny, Paul and the rest who always gave me support whenever I am down or I need help.

W26P for providing me fun during sports day..Anyway thanks for inviting me for your upcoming chalet!!

Next semester coming in 1 month time. Do hope to find a part time job..

Emm..I guess I don't know how my new classmates are. I guess, hope to funny ones bah...haha =)

Emm...I guess the semester ended quite ok. New challenges ahead, new classmates and facis to know and also, new classroom. Missed my W26Q classroom lei...but no choice.

K...end here..Oh yah, Wish Sandy and Wistera happy birthday!!

Maybe because it is going to be my last day with the W26Q guys and gals. Sad to see our class spilit but still I have to look forward for my new class.

Emm...yesterday went off during 2nd break. End up, BK with some of Dennis's classmates and stuck in Woodlands Regional Library till 4 plus.

Yesterday VB, I really go nuts with it..Cause I don't know..Help!!

So I guess..emm..maybe later I shall update what happened in my class.. = )


Yah, Science lesson ended at 1130!!...This is simply rarity. Anyway today's topic is about E = mc2. I really don't understand it at all. Luckily today only need to do 2 reflection journal and no PRESENTATION!! Cool!!

Around 1340, went to watch An American Hunting with some of Dennis's classmates. I end up dozing off in the hall. Aiyoh, frankly speaking, I don't really understand the movie at all lei...Then Subha...haha!! Kanna blamed for intro such a lousy movie. Ok, Joking only la, Subha..don't get hurt by it la!!

Today 1st time reached home 5 plus. Had an evening nap, till 2010. So just nice, did my RJ, which I completed it earlier on in MS Word format. Then start blogging...

Yesterday, I had a chat with my "bro", Jia Wen. She thought the whole class don't friend her but I told her, nah, won't one!!

So don't worry, bro, there will be people who will be your friends cause you are the cheerful tomato!! : )

And everytime, bro will encourage me not to think pessimistic..emm..gotta learn that loh....Haha!!

Ok, gotta end here for today.


6 days since I last updated my blog. Emm..for the past 6 days, ups and downs.

My class had finished all lessons for Enterprise and Communication module. The last lessons are quite unique. We got good foods to eat and also freedom on how we are going to present the problem statement.

After got hit by rubbish bin, scolding from friends and lots more. I realise life is simply so precious. We have to be grateful as a human and also have the opportunity to live normally.

I still have lots of things undone. Sometimes, these things I really want to have it done but always afraid of the outcome...

I guess I am always afraid of outcomes.

My class is going to break up soon. Missing everyone, missing the great moments. Really hope to see some of the classmates back...Hopefully one would be in my new class.

But anyway, I guess, I am very grateful to be in this class W26Q and I will try to cherish all the great moments!!


K, hee2 today not going to school cause wanted to go for job interview. Sorry for my team members la!! : )

Anyway, yesterday, I really saw something, saddening, unexpected. I was away from my classroom as I went to Dennis classroom to chill out for a while. Yah, gaming.

As I walked back to my classroom, I saw David crying. I saw the whole class become solemn except Calvin and Aini who are having a "talk".

But what I really saw is that, the class. I guess my class is no longer the class at the beginning of the academic year. Everyone was different now. Everyone changed. I think end up it is still expected to see my class becoming like this. Even myself also now preferred to be with those whom I am comfortable with. I guess, I can't do much anymore. Emm...so just let it be. But ultimately, I still hope to see my classmates living happily and healthily.

Frankly speaking after listening to what Calvin, Paul has said during class and Yin Min jie's comment in her blog, I totally stand in their side. As one, when it is time to concern, it is ok to concern somemone. But sometimes, don't get overboard and add in vinegar inside. It will end up becoming a worsen outcome.

I am not saying I am racist, cause yesterday incident involves 2 races. Regardless of race, everyone is still human. We have to think others above self when discussing class matters. We must not just think about ourselves. We also must look at the situation and able to apply appropriate solutions.

Calvin is indeed a person whom I respect him a lot. He is really the one who experienced so much obstacles in his life. Finally, he really thought about his future. I can see, he really wants to change for the better.

Kudos to you yesterday, Calvin!!

I guess, yesterday, I really learnt a valuable lesson. And no matter what, I will keep on changing, for the better.

Also, yah, maybe an encouragement to others. Never give up, never escape failure, never escape problems.

A human will never be perfect. But he/she can change for the better. Slowly grow one day by one day!

Emm..I guess I just end my post here.


...I can lead a simple life, how I hope so.

If I can be a more hardworking, disciplined, determined person, how I wish I could be.

If I can be more understandable, caring, friendly, then I guess I would not want to break friendships at all.

If my class won't spilit, I guess it would be good news for a number of my classmates.

But sadly, there is a very high possibility, my class is spiliting. I guess this is an initial good but later turned bad news.

Frankly speaking, I really hope my class will stick. Everyone will be happy everyday, bonded everyday. But it seems like the class morale is shaking vigourously. Even me myself, also don't know what happen to me in the class. Some may be happy with a certain groups and some not, and that's for sure.

Till I meet my W26Q classmates again next semester, really thank you for giving me such a good poly experience so far. But I guess, for some, you all know I did something very stupid, not forgivable. I am not acting pathetic. I just speak out what is inside my heart. Really sorry you guys, dissapointing you all as I am still the quiet, inconfidence guy.

Now..really, if I can change for the better, then I would really want to change for the better.

And..hope to lead a simple life





...I won't look like Chucky from Rugrats. But too bad, my own classmates and Dennis classmates said I really look like Chucky. Sad sia!!

How I wish, my class W26Q won't be spilit. Frankly speaking, initially I looked forward to change class but as time goes by and hearing Paul's and Mei Yee's birthday wish, I really felt very guilty having this initial wish.

How I wish, I can be friends with everyone in W26Q again. But I guess, my stupid, idoitic attitude, behaviour scared everyone out.

How I wish, I won't be pessimistic. Keep helping others, keep leading a simple and happy life. And see everyone happy!! : )

How I wish, I can see my classmates living happily, peacefully, healthy, cheerful always and also, find their dream one.

Emm...How I wish, I won't enter the road towards "L.O.V.E" again. I guess I had enough of it. Unless really I have to go to that road, I won't make effort to enter it. I would let everything plan naturally then act accordingly.

How I wish, I will learn from mistakes and climb up again!! Mistakes are there for me to learn and not to repeat it again. Obstacles are there for me to overcome. Problems are there for me to solve, not to escape.

And How I wish, I can see my family members, relatives and friends grow up happily and healthy.

Emm...my How I wish...er..last one...find a part time job...emm..

KK...I shall end my How I wish...


I will become drunk. And yes, I nearly become damn drunk. Yesterday night went to watch fireworks with Dennis and Kah Kian. Then later, we went to a 7-eleven. I intend to have a bottle of Snapple. End up, Dennis bought for me a bottle of Vodka. End up, drank finish in less than 5 mins. Whole body red, thinking of rubbish, talking of rubbish. And somemore, wanted more.

On the train, Kang Wei called me and I told him, I drank Vodka till I drunk. 4 outsiders laughed. Damn ashamed of myself.

Somemore, I tell Dennis. Monday, wanna have another shot.

Then later, after alighting at Jurong East Station. Went to meet Kang Wei. Then we 3(except Kah Kian), we had a bottle of each different types of alcoholic drink. This time, I am really mad with it. Bit drunk, but not totally drunk.

Really sorry to Sheryln. She sms me to remind me to go for Oko tomorrow. End up, I told her, I am drunk.

But what she said is correct, no point getting drunk. Harmful and useless.

Yah, I gotta keep reminding myself that. I guess, I don't know whether I am awake now or not...

...er...er...Emm...I think I am still awake though.


Yah, Hope there will be a good day for me to enjoy.

Anyway, today's communication lesson is about privacy. I do learnt more things about privacy. Emm...frankly speaking, I like communication lessons a lot. Today, my classmate, Sarah go show everyone The Phone. Wah seh, broad daylight show horrow movie. But good sia, the movie. Solid. Then after lesson still got Scary Movie 3. Lame show sia..but funny.

Faci say today our class bit restless. I do agreed though.

Then today I overheard my "bro", Jia Wen's conversation. I guess she wants to cut on weight. Hey, bro, confirm can 1!!...Who knows next time you become beautiful girl!! Haha!! : )

Now I do hope I will still maintain good friendship with my friends and classmates. Emm..really don't want to repeat the mistakes again.

I guess...if you ask me whether I will go into finding my dream one, my answer is, I am not going into the road again. Scary till siao liaox...


I am not usual self now. Feeling bit not well since 1am plus. I was about to do my late prayer but I couldn't do it at all as my lips were dry and feeling headache. End up, I am skipping my 3rd evening prayer for the week.

Yesterday, I went out with Kah Kian to Bugis area. We tried finding job but end up, one for COMEX. But guess what, the pay was ridiculous. The event lasted for 4 days, basic pay only $80. Selling one computer earns $20. Printer, up to $10. 1 meal included. But working hours, 10. Imagine that. Luckily, we told ourselves, we're not working at all for this kind of job.

Then yesterday, Kah Kian did told me, set myself a price, not people set for me. He told me, since I have the opportunity to work for maybe a month as holidays is coming, he asked me to find one. At least, I can buy the things I want to. We past by a few retail stores. He asked me to go check out the positions but I was like, afraid till mad. I wasn't myself then. He told me again, about what his teacher told him before. Brand vs Brand. He told me again, if I have the opportunity to work in shops like Levis, why not grab it?

Emm...since like I am ruining myself now...


Today is Singapore's National Day. Here wishing my own country happy 41st birthday!! Anyway being a Singaporean provides me with good living standard, know lotsa friends, have a taste of democratic society and more.

Emm...I guess I already told myself I wanted to take a reflection break. But it seems that, my break seems to be not reflective at all. Emm..really have to keep thinking a lot. Anyway, so many things happening and I was like, condeming from myself at class.

What happen to me?....

Anyway, yesterday after lesson. Have a game with some of the males @ classroom then went over to library. Saw Dennis and his classmates, we had a game of pool. Hee2, Annan and I won the pool game. After that, carrom till 6 plus.

Yesterday Maths lesson is considered one of the most relaxing one. Anyway, I make fun of Mr Lem and Paul's pic during the ppt presentation. Haha!!

I guess..today is a Public Holiday. I hope it will give me a day break, let me think of..emm..what to do next in the coming days...

As a Singaporean, I have to work hard for my future. I guess I will have to continue work hard, to be successful in the future!!


But not 100 percent as I am in my school library. Today morning start my skip school plan with going out. I can't stay @ home..if not I die...

Frankly speaking...it allows me to take a break...from everything...bad or good...

Just hope tdy's break will allow me to go a further road!!

Emm...yah, I actually went to meet KK..but he nvr appear @ all...end up meeting Kang Wei, Kenneth and Dennis @ JE mrt...they all alight, I continue all the way, north south + east west line to aljunied. Go PC do gongyo.

This time I told Gohonzon, today I skipped school is to take a break from everything, especially the recent incidents. Really hope the feeling will be gone...(anyway going off liaox...cool!!)...then also pray for

- My class, W26Q, hope everyone stays happy
- Hope I won't do foolish acts again, be matured in thinking, more more...
- My family and relatives..
- Kosen Rufu...
- Have a chat with Gohonzon, telling it what happen to me

That's all..simple.

Just now MSN with Paul, Jia Wen. Found out, today got so little people only sia...

Aiyah..nvm..ltr I go look for them when faci Linda Ong left...hee hee : )


Kinda boring. I never do my morning prayer...no wonder I feel..weird.

Today, when I took my nap, the trauma came to me. Everything seems scary.

But I told myself, gotta overcome it. Don't escape it. Problems are there for me to overcome, not escape.

I think I just end my post now. Continue tml...


You can never expect the effect. You make the cause but you can never know that the effect can be so severe to you that you were crying, shouting for help.

Sad to say, when you did something wrong, sometimes the target, which may be your friend, god sister etc, will ignore you forever. He/she will scold, hate you till the end.

Also, to hate to be hated. You hate people, more people will hate you more. The hatred you face is more stronger than you have it.

To really repent, learn from your mistakes. Sometimes the outcome may condemn you a lot, sometimes you might be lucky.

Whenever you met a condemn outcome, you have to tell yourself, you have to accept the outcome. The most you can do is prove to the person, you are willing to change.

Most important, willing to change, willing to learn from your mistakes and be a better person.

For me, I have been acting too pathetic, too despo for love, too childish etc...lots of them.

Now I realise them, it seems to be a bit late.

The outcome has become serious, codemning.

But what I can do? I can't do much. But one thing I can do, I must learn from my mistakes, and be a better person.

I have to prove my whole class, W26Q, I will be a much matured person.

That's all....

W26Q, my doings have dissapointed you all, especially my jie, Yin Min. She is the target of my hatred, but I realised that she's correct and I am in the grave wrong side.

I don't know she is willing to accept my apology, but I guess even she is not willing to accept my apology, I still have to change myself for the better.

I can't afford to repeat my mistakes again. I have to change away my bad points.

Jia Wen told me, I can become the cheerful one.

Now my aim, be the cheerful one.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Never mind about me, I have to face the mistakes. I rather face the pain now than facing it later.

Perhaps this is a Karma for me.


I did something stupid. Yes.

I should not show out my hatred. It is simply stupid.

Don't ever follow me..


Slowly begin to go off...although it will still be there.

The hatred has cause my day...went bad. I went out during 2nd meeting, feeling bad. During that period, Jia Wen msg me and told me..must think properly..and no point hating...really thxs my "bro"

Now still recovering...


Simple post...

From now on, I will hate "it"...A LOT!!!

I HATE "IT".......!!!

Better not let me hear "it"'s voice and see "it" again....

Hate "it"....Hate A LOT!!!


Emm..my msn nick..no longer blurlikesheepy...

In future...I will put a new name to myself...SilverRish Apple...(hey..no intention to copy nickname as Wan Ping la!!)

Why this change...I guess I want to change myself..not to be so blur liaox...and I like to be silverish apple, not to be eaten...people will just look at me, know me more...that's all

But I will still hope...I will stay happy 4 eva, hope to forget all bad feelings

And also, to see everyone happy!! : )

Today, new faci. She asks damn lotsa 5 cent questions. Wah seh. Can see today Jia Wen bit gloomy, I guess she will overcome the gloomy by tml.

Emm, today dunno y, like keep looking @ "it"...But I guess, I have told myself...nah..I don't wish to like her anymore...not going to hate her because I want to forget her..

I just want to lead my life...normally

Though bit gloomy today, but I told myself...must fight on!!

Stayed at school till very late, gaming with my classmates, finding new themes for my lappy...

Yin Min jie..got new blog...nice sia..hope she will link me bah...thick skinned again...

These few days, without some of my frens encouragement...I might end up..become roti prata...

No energy to continue my engine...

Emm...so, if everyone have bad feelings..just tell urself...must fight on!!..still got lotsa things to do lei!!


I just hope, this silent stress can be gone. That's what I hope for.

The feeling came back again. I don't know why. Why can't I forget "it"? Is it because whenever I saw "it", the feeling will be back or whenever I saw "it" tallking with other males, the feeling will be back?

Why I like "it" at first? Why not others or simply not liking anyone? Why?

I guess...the friendship between me and "it"...

Might turn shaky...

But I am not hoping for that because it is a devil's curse to me. I have to break it...and be normal again...

But I guess, one day...it will fade off...I might have to be prepared for that.

Sometimes how I wish I can spilit class and forget everything...

Today, Maths module. Something related to probability. Emm..same team with Mu Xing, Shu Ting and Bryan. I guess this partnership is the first time though. Hoping more chance to work with them. I guess I do need some time to adapt though.

Anyway today during presentation, I thought my "brother", Jia Wen was about to help me click for my ppt. End up..err..

Then now I thought of it, I felt so bad. When I will change my mindset?

Today, Sarah initiate an class outing idea.

Frankly speaking, now meeting the devil's curse, I don't feel like going. Everytime saw "it" online, I will feel moody. I don't know why. Then I will end up listening to S.H.E - 天灰.

I like this song a lot, whenever I feel moody. It represents my moodiness.

Today, I woke up around 0555. I told myself, no matter what happen, I must fight on!!

And that's for sure...

Over the weekend, really thanks to my classmate, Sarah, who gave me lots of encouragement and motivating words. She told me, I must be more confidence.

Yah, that's the weakness I have for numerous years.

She did asked me whether I got stead before. My answer no..Emm..I guess I don't wish to hope to have girlfriend liaosx...cause I guess I myself won't have one 的巴.....

Have given up hope on searching the dream one, I guess now, it is better for me to forget "it"...and carry on my life!!