Writing my own story. 我正在写自己的故事.

小小的部落格，说出心里想说的话。。。。 = ）


I am who I am... 我就是我. Randy, 22 le. Still searching myself. Loves....techie thingys, K-pop and etc.


yin min
wan ping
siti
shawny
wistera
xue ying
grace
samantha
mel
shamala
elaine
cindy
nurimah
azlan
viknesh
lesley
sandy
jasmine
dennis
jasper
jason
briana
charlene
aik kai
my fyp2 team blog
huiyan
dawnice
pei xin
joan
ted sis

Today is a wednesday. Middle of the week. How I look forward for Friday...

Ok. Anyway today I had Cognitive Processes and Problem Solving module. Today's problem gave a list of ideas and ask us why people accept these ideas and whether we accept it and why.

Phew, quite a challenging one but frankly speaking it is ok lah. But I realised...one thing, for a couple of lesson, my presenatation is always..errr

Yah, whenever I met some hiccups during presentation, I would errr...errr. Wah kao,really different from the usual me. What happen to me sia?..Classmates have to keep asking me not to be so tense.

Tomorrow Communication module, if continue like that. Sia lah, sure mati 1.

Plus tommorow UT..(Science)...die liaos...my worst module. Although my daily grades are ok but I don't really understand the module.

I don't know what will happen for tomorrow, just hope tomorrow will be a good day!! : )...That is what I hope for.

I guess if you want your day to be a happy one, then you gotta be optismistic the whole day even you meet damn lots of problems.

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"it" ask me to get out of hibernation. "it " also asked me whether I still got think of her.

I think one answer...sorry, I already learn my mistake. Neither I would like "it" liaox or even think of "it" cause I want "it" to find a good guy, not me.

Sometimes effects are still there but I am confident to wake up from hibernation and be a happy person again...HAHA.

How I wish all this thingys never happen but since it happen I would just forget it. Treat it as a life lesson and gon on my life.

So I guess it is time to happy go lucky.

Tomorrow will be a better day!!


Now listening to Jolin's new song, Wu Niang....Somehow it gives me a feeling that life is simply like a dance...Beautiful Moves, Beautiful Moments

Anyway for today. Science. I think I gonna have lots of difficulties in it. Ms Ong is considered quite a good faci but...err...I still don't understand her lesson lei. (Today topic is Heart Matters...relating about how a human heart works and blood circulations)

Luckily today lesson around 4pm ends...phew..

Then went to look for VC and Tedsis....

Come back home, watch TV, have dinner and now surfing net.

Today received email from Leemei. She sincerly hope my brother and I can attend the Malaysia's Kenshu but sadly her mail came a bit too late as my father already say a definite no.

I dare not reply to her.

Sorry, Leemei jie. I know you are always concerning about my brother and me myself.

I am very sorry to give you back a bad news and sincerly hope you can understand it.

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I guessed I have being making too much mistakes or did not treasure what I had.

I am now...in the regretting zone.

And in the meantime in hibernation zone.

Yah, today saw "it" in class. "it" looks different today.

Till now dare not talk or chat at MSN with "it". I dunno y....Is it because of my fear? Or barriers or?....

But no matter how, I will still regard "it" as my jie.

But if "it" is my jie, then how come di di is so coward to talk to "it"....

Dissapointed with myself.....Yet Don't know what to do.

Time for hibernation.

Continue.


Yah, slacking weekends for me.

How come? Yesterday supposed to attend meeting for Kaimyo PC Family Day cause I part of committee but end up wake up late and feeling not good. Whole of yesterday only sleep. Then whole day never do gongyo. Kang Wei ask me want to go play basketball also no mood. Simply bad for yesterday.

Today morning got student activity never attend. Same reason,wake up late. Then woke up around 1215, eat dumpling, play FIFA 06 and then meet tedsis at JE library around 1420 together with my brother.

Imagine playing game @ the library...haha...tats me..

Then today tedsis show me Hui Jing's pic...she changed a lot. I think he is going all ways to court her back again.

After dinner, we went to tedsis house. Haha...go do gongyo and also he pass me some clothes..saying that he cannot wear liaox...

Emm...yah, slacking....damn slacking...

How I wish TML will be a better one, better day.

Sometimes thought of "it"...I feel very bad but I guess I gotta respect "it" cause "it" likes other ppl liaox...

Emm...time for hibernation.

And TML SCIENCE MODULE...ARGH!!!!

....And here wish "it" have a happy love road while me will support "it" as a godbrother

and "it", don't worry abt me cause I am going to be 18 soon, time for me to be more matured and make wise changes.

End Here For Today.


Emm...today took 187 to school. Actually wanted to take with Dennis end up he woke up late. Anyway today he is in bad luck....very very suay.

Yah, today's Enterprise module is on how to balance between personal and working life. I got appointed as leader but I think....??? My group is quite gung-ho with Marie(The workaholic and the nature scribe), Mei Yee, Beh and Juraini.

Then what happen to today's presentation. I couldn't pronounce "effectively" well. Then I got so tense during presentation that Miaka have to keep asking me "Stand Straight!!" . Wah seh, I first time so tense during presentation....

But after that, PHEW!!!

Yah, today I look at "it"..again....I dunno y...but I guess I am now still surviving in Hibernation Mode.

But...a question mark...

I try to clear all misunderstanding liaox...

But somehow...somehow...still...looking at"it"

No matter how I will treat "it" as my elder...

Time will tell and I will make sure of that....

If not.


Yah...I am simply tired.

Ok..ytd I was having communication module...nearly had argument sia...

Go back home...another one cause of my brother using my com then..yah...

Then..I guess something tired cause I am a bit not used to hibernation.

Perhaps I still need time to get used to it.

Somehow I realised through hibernation, I will at first remember lots of things then later.....

I think it will be good for me though...

Continue.


This few days forgot to post up lah...cause tired...

Anyway, today I had cognitive processes and problem solving module. Today's questions is giving feedback to 2 created teams based on the given presentations then also reflect on your team and how attitude, behaviour and stretegy affects your team in the 3rd meeting.

I was appointed to be the leader but somehow a bit dissapoint that my team is the 1st team to present but kanna shot!!...

But....I think my team really learn lots of experience like how to an effective team player and how to work in a team....

GOOD JOB TEAM 2!!! Shawn, Marie, Shuting and Shakila. You guys rock!!

Emm...anyway after school went to watch Da Vinci Code with Tedsis, his friend and facilitator.

Wah seh, the faci don't look like faci sia....so friendly...treat me like friend friend 1....

How I wish I got one faci like tat for my module...

Haha....

But somehow...I realised every thing we did, there will be an effect.....

Emm...why?

If you bite your finger, you will feel pain. So this cause and effect concept is true and proven in this world.

I think I am considered lucky...perhaps I believe in Buddhism and they emphasised on it.

So...if you do bad thingy....there will be retribution.

If you really happen to read what I wrote, do take sometime to reflect and think of what I said.

Perhaps it may help you a lot though......

End here... : )


Yah...A few days never write liaox so let me think what I had done over the weekends.

Friday, went to Far East. Heard from Cindy something, at bus cry. I should say I am a bit coward. After that went to meet Shi Ying. She gotta use FrontPage for her project.

Saturday, went to Karaoke with Tedsis. Did not went for dragonboat training cause not feeling well in the morning. I guess my sickness is cured through Karaoke. Haha...I think you all know liaox...

Anyway that day I went to have ear-piercing. A bit of ouch..just for a few seconds. Now thought of have to control what I eat and what I do, a bit sian though. Blame me want to be a bit havoc.

Then I went back home, become a bit ah gua cause ask my sis help me shave my eyebrow. I think in no time I will become sissy...haha!! : )

Today, late for meeting @ PC. Supposed to reach by 12pm end up reaching 1pm plus. Really very very paiseh....

After meeting, went to Bugis to buy something to eat. Go back to PC and do evening Gongyo and went to have dinner with Tedsis @ Clementi.

I knew Tedsis is meeting lots of problems. He said since his faith went down, those under his contact list also went hay-wired. An example for me is meeting damn lots of problems for the past few weeks. He said to me, chant daimoku an hour daily.

I will try my best to heed his advice.

Yah, today when I was at PC, I chanted about 40 mins, praying things going well. Perhaps this is what I hope for now.

My wish..er..to have a GF...???....haha!!...kk...tats..1...

Another. To see my class W26Q be united again.

See my family members happy.

Me be happy.

See people happy then I happy.

Ok, that's me and I shall end here.

; )


Annway these few days really damn tired, so never post msgs.

Emm..I should say yesterday's module on communication is an exciting one. Somehow the presentation lack of planning thus causing boredom. Sad, cause Shakila have a great idea and it came up bad. Anyway, good effort by W26Q!!

I am still in the process of healing. Somehow, "injuries" are recovering. I am hoping it will be gone asap. Sometimes I will like...err...but I think if that time I did not clear it, I might be suffering more.

Perhaps a bad news for others who bring high hopes on me, I think most likely I will be quitting dragonboat and join photo IG. Reason being, dragonboat isn't my interest and I realise I do like to take photos. Yah, dragonboat trains me up physically but I guessed it isn't my favourite though.

But...making of this decision is really a painful 1.


Finally, I let "it" to go to sleep....

Today's lesson is the most enjoyable 1. Science. My team shows out good team work!! Gd job Team 3!!

Then today my 1st training....dragonboat..wah seh...TOUGH...BUT I AM GOING TO DETERMINE TO ENDURE FOR 3 YEARS!!!

Emm...."it"...I miss you but sadly I have to let you go....

Good Bye


Sunday, as usual, it is a rest day.

Woke up around 11 plus, again never do morning gongyo. Sad to say, it is not my usual me.

Went to play FIFA 06 and Winning Eleven 8 for a few hours, then take a bath, go have dinner.

Today is Mother's Day, wishing all mothers(including mine) a happy mother's day!! : )

Anyway, I am prepared to see my feelings towards something to die. Why I am prepared to see it die, reason being..I just hope to see a better outcome.

No point staying with this feeling and I should not be selfish.

This "feeling"...Sorry that I hurt "you" but I know I have to do that because end up if I stay with "you", I will become more sad.

Don't Worry, I will stand up again....

TML GOT SCHOOL.....ARGH!!!!


Emm...not really super fun la...haha...

Anyway, let me say abt yesterday. Day time went out with Tedsis to Orchard. Then go attend meeting for Kaimyo PC family day. Evening prayer plus friday chanting. Around 9,went out with KW and his classmates, Kenneth and Basta. We went to a Moroccan cafe in Arab Street and tried shesha....nah..starting the feeling is ok..after that...argh..sour...my throat and mouth cannot take it...

Then about today. Wake up @ noon. Sore throat. No mood to do anything. Just watch MTV Mandarin till 4 plus.

Went to PC to attend monthly ceremony till 9 plus. After that went to have supper with Sam, Way Keat, Kang Wei, Aik Kai, Zhi Yuan , Tedsis and my brother.

Take mrt back to Clementi and board 99 back home.

On the way back in the bus, tedsis told me about her ex GF. Yah, sometimes I do symphatise with him. Imagine someone you loved very much leaves you, you will be totally helpless.

Then he told me, if possible, perhaps find someone who is the same religion with me. Cause if find one with other religion might have clashes.

Frankly speaking, I am still thinking.

But the one I liked, she's very fragile...yet happy....

Perhaps I should'nt like her at all, but the feelings.....I don't know how and what to do...........


Writing for yesterday.

Anyway, today's lesson is not bad. Presentation was considered smooth but somehow I think my face expression and nervousness kills me.

Yah, today in the same group as Yin Min, Shakila, Shu Ting and Beh. Working with them is not bad. Somehow got good chemistry.

I think I am missing something, I don't know what's that and now I am searching for it.

Whether I am able to find, it is another answer.

Today after school, thought can go karaoke. End up Tedsis stomachache, cannot go. Our intended plan is with VC, Dennis, Tedsis and me. Too bad end up we 3 others went to have dinner and went home.

Then I went to Dennis house and play Winning Eleven. Wah seh, he go play all sad sad songs. I sing I nearly cry.

Really, those songs made me think of the confusions and the past painful memories.....

I am still....


Why I say again...

There is a reason behind. Feelings getting confused. I don't know why. I tried to pray for solutions but yet to come out.

Although I really wish to have a GF...but I think if my feelings gets over confused, I think it will be a problem.

Anyway, today's presentation isn't that good but somehow better than last week.

I really hope my feelings won't get confused.

Hope Tml will Be Better....


Emm...why I said that. Let me start from just now. I cannot go in to blogger website until I refresh a few times.

Today morning, when I was about to board the train to Jurong East, I had stomach ache. Suay(Unlucky in hokkien). I have to rush to toilet.

Ok, then how about today's Basic Science understanding test, Bad. I know nothing and I simply do.

Anyway, today's lesson is about listening skills. I do realise not everyone is a good listener but if you want to be a good listener, it is through practice.

Now?....it seems that everything looks wrong, I am now confused with my feeling. I don't know why. Is it because...???


Wah seh, tml I got Basic Science understanding test. Now 2330...worried till siao....

Anyway, today another kelong day. Everything don't know for maths, team members all unfoucsed. But I understand that my class is like that 1, if not how to have fun everyday?...(what I am saying...??)

Then after school, go take my 1st Neoprint...haha...wif Tedsis and Dennis. Wah kao is Tedsis keep asking the sales assistant to assist him...bla bla bla...

Really hope tml will be a better day


Today I woke up around 9 plus. Actually I have to attend KosenRufu chanting session. Guess what, I reached PC at 1130..means the chanting session already about to end.

After that, I did my late morning gongyo. And have lunch. Bad day, I don't want chilli for my noodles but end up with chilli.

Then Lee Mei asked me whether I want to go Malaysia Kenshu or not. She gave me till today to give her a reply. She really hoped me and my brother can go.

But frankly speaking, I do wish to go but with the recent phone bills hitting 200 plus(mainly due to my bro number), I don't think I can.

Still don't know how though...

Anyway, after lunch went to attend meeting for Kaimyo PC Family Day. I am in the group to organise telematch for adults. Tough challenge for me though.

After meeting, went to pass some gifts to apple at Tampines.

Hope she like la...if she don't like...then I damn sad liaox....

Anyway I now at KW house. Playing game instead of study for UT....haha!! : )

Actually after yesterday's karaoke, I learnt that I should be courageous, dare to meet obstacles....haha: )

Ok, shall end here.


I am writing for 6 May.

Went out with tedsis. Sing karaoke from 7pm till 11pm.

Sang all types of songs, mostly sad ones.

Before karaoke, I had my dinner. Then met Lee Ming.

Then after that Tedsis and I went to arcade while Lee Ming went another way.

Then after that....

Ok...I don't know what happen to me though.

Sometimes see Tedsis know lots of girls, and heard what Kang Wei told me, I am very lousy in consoling people.

Something really came up my mind, I am useless....err....

I really hope that I can change...but the route to change is so difficult...


Why I say bad start. Reason stating below:
1) Raining when I was about to go to school. Spoilt my day.
2) I did not perform well as a team player during lesson. Really very dissapointed with my performance.

Okay, the ending for today is normal. Went to attend a film maker showcase at my school. Yah, they invited Royston Tan for the talk. He is quite a renowed director in S'pore and his works received many good reviews.

Emm..now at bpp's mcdonald...haha...came here twice liao in 2 days...yah..now with my fren KW...haha


Today is really considered a bad day for me. Firstly, I become very hungry when I reached school although I had my breakfast. Then the wanton I bought @ 7 eleven sucks man. Secondly, halfway through my mock understanding test, I had stomachache and have to go to toilet. Actually in the real UT, even I have stomachache I also cannot go to toilet. Somemore the test is based on Sec Sch maths and science,wah seh I nearly forgot everything liaox....

Thirdly, I am simply not playing a part for my team. It seems like I don't know everything. Fourthly, I never pay attention to other teams presentation.

Emm....really consider an unlucky day for me though.....

I think I should be humble back again....

On the way back home today on taxi, the radio station played is Yes 93.3 (Chinese). Then the DJ asked whether you have secretly fall in love before.

Once I heard that, I nearly broke into tears. It reminded of me 5 year back.

Better not say too much.....


Yah...you may be surprise why i said that. Yesterday not able to do a post due to not feeling well, sleep earlier.

Today, I guess I am over confidence. Did not learn what other team's mistake and improve my group's presentation.

Till now....


Over the weekends, I went to attend my uncle's wedding at Penang, Malaysia. Perhaps I just briefly describe what happened over the 3 days.

I left home around 4 plus. When I reached Jurong East Interchange, my father thought there will be time. End up, when we wanted to take the later bus to Johor, the counter staff told us we have to rush if not we would be unable to catch our flight. Yah, we took the Causeway Link bus to Johor 2nd link. From there, another obstacles happen. The airport bus will come around 6 plus. End up, taxi to airport. 2 taxis, RM 70.

We waited for our flight. Excited as it is a long time since I last board plane. This time no famous airlines like SIA or MAS. Air Asia only. Anyway it is quite a pleasant flight and I got the rare chance to see thunderstorms in the sky. Cool!! : )

I reached Penang around 10 plus on Sat. When I reached my grandma's house(attap house type), it is around 11 plus. So tired till just wash up and sleep.

Next morning woke up around 7 plus. I went to follow my uncle to his bride house. Ok, anyway the bride looks pretty. Then my mum told me, every woman looks pretty when she puts on a wedding gown. Yah, there is a tea ceremony too.

Then we go back to my uncle's house to have the tea ceremony for my uncle's side. Haha, I got some red packet money though.

After that, my father brought my family to have the famous Penang Rd chendol. My goodness, damn nice. Damn good. Somehow, S'pore's one cannot fight with Penang's one.

After chendol, we went to the nearby shopping mall. Thought there will be time to shop but time was rushing out, end up buying a shirt(treated..heehee) and some accersories for my classmates.

I think something special should be the wedding dinner. Ok, I myself couldn't take it during dinner where some older generation people sing songs. Then got my newly auntie niece singing. Thought it will be good, but turned out not expected. Never mind, I think everyone who dares to go to the stage and sing are courageous.

Stomach full, heehee. Yah, we went back to sleep till 0730 today.

I had my lunch at my auntie house and went to the airport.

The plane got delayed by 10 mins. Reached Johor Senai Airport around 1330. Took a coach back to the city lounge and went to makan.

Big jam @ the causeway.

When we wanted to take a bus directly back to Jurong East, my mother said the bus gotta wait for a long time.

So from Woodlands checkpoint, 170 to Kranji. MRT. 334 from Jurong East. Back home.

Headache till now, why?? The effect of the sudden rise of pressure in plane when I was going back.

Till now, I am still in pain....argh!!